Wednesday 1.7.2009

I was sleeping good, at intervals, of course, when I would be awakened by the bed wiggling. Dan scratching. Several times throughout the night. One time he was up in the bathroom with the light on and door almost closed when I was awakened by the sounds of pills and pill bottles and such. He fussed around in there for what seemed like forever. I don't know what he was doing. He finally got back to the bed and settled down.

I was sleeping when my alarm went on at 0830. OK, up time. Off to the shower...I did the exercises for my arm and shoulder and breast. I got out and finished getting ready for my appointment with Dr. Bolmer. Dan was still in bed, though now awake. He wasn't quite ready physically to go with me this morning. I told him that if we were discussing treatments or something, I would like for him to go, but since it's just a routine follow-up, I was ok by myself. I told him I could record the visit, but he said it wasn't necessary. He was scratching again, and since it was time for medicine, I brought it to him with a glass of water, then he went back to sleep.

It was snowing out, a fine, blowy stuff, with the temperature in the mid 20's. I got to the doctor's office and signed in. I had to wait; I was finally called back by one of the unbadged girls that I recognized but don't know her name. First stop, scales. Off with the coat. I had snowboots on, and the digital number display kept going up, over 150. 151.6. Uh, Oh. I've gained weight. I made a note to take my boots off and re-weigh myself before leaving the building. (well, yeah, they're heavy...) She led me to room 11, took blood pressure (106/71) pulse-99 and temperature (97.7). She reviewed the medication list and said doctor would be with me soon. Ok, thanks. I looked around.

New pictures--on the wall I was looking at were 2 framed photographs of great white egrets or terns--long legged, long billed birds--nesting. The photo on the left was one of the birds walking toward the camera with long sticks in it's beak. The photo on the right was of the nest--one bird deep in the nest with it's head visible, the other bird standing guard. As I looked around, there was another photo on the opposite wall, above the chair I was sitting in. This photo was a close-up of the head of the bird on the nest. Interesting. They were neat photos. I got up and walked to the window and looked out, watching. Not much to see. A guy shoveling, a delivery truck at the back of the building, finally a knock at my door.

Dr. Bolmer came in about 11:05. She greeted me warmly and talked fast in her rambling way. The first thing she asked about was the hot flashes. Yep, still having them, I confirmed, and she said "still nothing we can do about them. Sorry. Have you had a period?" No, I replied. Not since last January, with spotting in February. "Good," she said, "but we don't call you menopausal on tamoxifen until you haven't bled for 2 or 3 years." She grinned. "But, you probably are. We'll just have to wait and see." She wrote out the refill for the effexor 37.5 mg, ordered the lab draw for today, and wrote for a bone density scan. The scanning people will call me to schedule. The mammogram was negative, so that means a follow-up in 6 months on the left side only, and a return office visit in 3 months. However, she said, "I won't be here." Her eyes filled. She went on to explain that her mother was very ill and she was leaving practice to go to her. And that she expects that her father will pass soon after. I told her that it is a good choice; difficult, but she won't regret it. She nodded. And she mentioned that I took care of my mother. "Yes," I said, "and she died just before my last chemo treatment." She nodded again. "I'm glad I did, and I believe she knew I was in treatment. I cherish the connections we had during the last few months. I was honored to be able care for her. It's a good choice that you're making." Her eyes filled again. "You'll be ok," I said. She nodded again.

So, I asked her what happens to us, her patients? The two other physicians in the practice are happy to see us, and are each excellent. Or there are other cancer doctors around, whatever. Hm. I told her I'd come back here. Good, she said. She went on to say that they both have a different style of practice, that they won't spend a half hour talking with you, but they'll take good care of you. Ok. I make lists and take notes anyway for my doctor visits, so I think I'll be ok. That was a good fore-warning, though.

Doctor turned to the cabinet to get out a gown. "Here, I'll go make some notes then come back and listen to you, check your breasts" she said. I told her she didn't need to leave the room, I don't need a gown, and pulled off my shirt and bra. First thing, right off the bat, she thought I looked "a little full, there's some fluid there." She was looking at my upper arm, breast, and around to the side. We talked about the therapy, and she said she would make a thorough note so that when I call for an order for therapy, whoever is reading it will find the need well documented. I thanked her for that. She listened to my heart and lungs, and declared me good.

Good. She turned to write on the chart, I got re-dressed and waited quietly for her to finish.

When she was done, she said it was a privilege to take care of me, an honor to know me, and she's glad I responded so well to treatment. And I thanked her for being so kind and taking good care of me. And that she's making the right choice in going to Leland, about 200 miles away. I hugged her, she cried a little, and told me the girl would be in to get my blood, and hurried out of the room.

The badgeless girl came in and said Amy would be with me in a minute to draw my blood, and led me back to the waiting area. I put my things in a chair, and while I was waiting, I went back to the scale. Each boot weighed 0.8, for a total of 1.6 pounds. Then I stood on the scale--149.6. Not liking that number. Another female patient walked by and we made comments about the vanity of the weight of the footwear, and one of the other physicians smiled. I went back out to the waiting area.

I made my follow-up appointment with Dr. Williams, the physician I had seen in the hallway, and paid the co-pay. Amy came up to get me for the blood draw.

She had to poke a little, but got the two tubes of blood, wrapped my arm with the stretchy stuff, and I sat there for 10 minutes or so until the wooziness went away. Yep, needles going into me is a "recoverable" moment. I made sure I was ok, then got up and left.

I thanked God for my caregivers, and asked for angels to be with Dr. Bolmer and her parents.

Next stop, Lansing Ophthalmology to have my glasses adjusted.

I waited about 10 minutes for my turn. I told her where the nose pieces were bothering me, and when she brought them back, I remembered that I wanted to ask if the nosepieces could be changed from the hard plastic ones to something different. Sure, she said. She got two other types of silicone ones to show me, I picked one, she changed them out, then had to adjust them again. All in all, they're good. I'm still playing with them, but I think they'll settle in. And if they don't, I'll go back for another adjustment.

I called Dan to ask if he wanted anything from the store; he gave me a short list and I headed over to Meijer. I spent quite a while in the store, looking at the sodium counts of many things that we buy. I picked up the bread and eggs and a few fresh veggies and stood in the checkout line for another 10 minutes. Done.

Back home. Dan was up and looking....fair. He had eaten, his voice is still raspy. I told him about my appointments, then went to make my lunch. A big plate of nachos. Yum. I shared.

After a bit, Dan went in and laid down. I was checking my email when my eyes got heavy, too, and next thing I was laying down on the couch. I woke up with the door chime. Breon had come to see her daddy.

We had a nice visit. After she left Dan and I put dinner together and ate. The evening passed. He went to bed about 10, I wrote here.

He's been itchy about 1/2 hour before medication time, whether it's the benadryl or the atarax.

Tomorrow we see Dr. Al-Sheikh for Dan at 11:00. The prednisone causes the blood sugar to increase; Dan has been in the high 200's and getting insulin at the hospital, but it was not addressed at discharge as to what to do at home. So we're going to find out.

I see that this post got long again. Thank you for reading. Hugs.