Monday 2.4.2008

Day 20, Treatment #1

I worked today, and wore the short haired wig. I was surprised at my apprehension to actually turn the corner of the hallway and enter the unit with my "new hair". I pause, take a breath. I know that each of these women have woven their colors for me, and take a step forward. I take another breath, they notice me. Wow, look at you, that looks nice, etc... Whew. They're smiling. They're genuine. I'm smiling, nervous. I made it through the first group. And it was ok. Over to the locker room, a couple more girls, they like it, too. Ok, cool. I look in the mirror. Funny to see different hair. Yeah, it looks ok. It feels funny, though. Like a hat.

Back out on the floor, the day goes on. Very strange having darker hair in a different style. I'm not one to change my hairstyle, or color, so my image in the mirror is something to become accustomed to.

Also, as the day goes on, this thing is getting itchy. Like I need to take it off itchy. I'm becoming more comfortable with people's responses, and when they ask if I've lost my hair, I pull off the wig. Whew, that feels better. Of course, I'm not pulling it off in the middle of the hallway. They look, and are surprised at how sparse my hair is. Me, too.

I go over to the nursing home, I show mom my new hair. She looks at me, with a puzzled look on her face. One of nurses comes in; she asks if it's itchy. I tell her yes, she says take it off while you're here. We don't care... Ok. I take it off. SShew. That feels better.

The cap of the wig feels itchy on the inside, and the band around the perimeter is snug. It's adjustable, and I loosened it a couple of times throughout the day. It has to be snug enough to stay on... Maybe it's something I have to learn to wear. There are also types of accessories to help with the comfort--a gel headband for one, and wig liners are another. The liner is like the nylon footie that you use to try on shoes in the store. These are just to try on the wigs. The liners are found in a few different fabric options, so I guess you have to discover what one you like.

I drove home in the dense fog, only able to look ahead 1 and 2 reflectors. I took my time, and made it safely. I visited with my wonderful husband, he went to bed. I am on my way, too.

Thank you for all your support. Knowing that you are embracing me through the awkward stuff is what enables me, feeds me, encourages me to smile and look you in the eyes, sharing your strengths. May you be blessed with the peace of the Lord.