Wednesday 08.04.2010 Post #1,000

Wow. Really, last night's post was number 1000. I didn't realize it until I went to the "New Post" tab today.

So , I've written 1000 entries about traveling through the breast cancer planet and returning to planet earth. I'm still working on the "wellness" part. And until I am no longer taking any medication intended to prevent or kill cancer cells in my body, I am still within a treatment protocol. I am very much looking forward to taking zero medication on a daily basis, which is another 5 years, at this point.

I do think I am as well as I can be at this point of the journey. I'm 20 pounds heavier than when I was diagnosed in November 2007. I have painful tendonitis that has moved around, from both knees to the left wrist, and currently in the right wrist. That wrist pain will wake me when I'm moving at night, like adjusting the blankets, or even just turning in the bed and bumping it on something as light as the weight of the blankets. It doesn't' seem like much, but I've heard myself make noises when it's bumped or moved. I haven't seen or heard of any literature that says that the tendonitis will go away when the Aromatase Therapy is completed. My personal thermo-regulator is malfunctioning--I am hot, cold, and sometimes even comfortable!--and rarely sleep more than 1 1/2 or 2 hours at a time. I am surprised, even pleased, at how well I can function with that kind of interrupted sleep. I read more slowly now and sometimes have difficulty with comprehension; general cognition decreases greatly with fatigue and/or overload. Sometimes I struggle to find words during conversation, which happens all the time, but again, more frequently when fatigued.

I've jogged, bicycled, rollerbladed, swim/fin/water aerobics, yoga, walked. Worked full time, found/developed/maintained a marriage, shared the end of my mother's life with her. Re-established relationships, created relationships. It has been reinforced to me that people are what we are here for, to care for each other, to recognize that God is the reason.

The hugs, tears, laughter, fears. I am continuously surprised at myself, at what will touch off a water-eyed emotion, and at how much is communicated with a hug. And that people want to hug me! Which is all ok, I guess, letting people into my space.

I took my pill today, and plan to take it tomorrow. The days go by, and soon it will be another 1000 days. And I will still be cancer free.

Thank the Lord.

Thank you for reading, for sharing, for supporting me. For water-eye moments, smiles, and laughter. And...Hugs.