Wednesday 3.5.2008 Workday

Day 8, Treatment #3

I got up after a restless night, nauseated. Eww. I managed to eat my egg and drink a glass of milk, but couldn't do the english muffin. I put it in the bag to take with me. On my way...

A snowy drive to Jackson, one lane open, 50 mph. Yuck. I made it, though, and safely. (thank you God)

The shuttle did not come back to pick up the small handful of employees, and I walked through the parking lot, across the road, and into the hospital. One of the Labor and Delivery girls was walking with me--when we got into the building, I had to slow down. We weren't even walking fast in the first place. Then I realized that my legs were "wobbly", or shaky, or not quite right, and I said so out loud, and told her I had to slow down. She slowed, also, and we made it to our floor. Clocked in, and went in to receive report, as it was 0630.

During report, I noticed that my nausea was still there. And I was kind of dizzy. Hm. Interesting. I must have looked funny, because most everyone asked if I was feeling ok. I responded that I was "punky" this morning, pretty nauseated, even a touch dizzy.

I decided I would see how the morning went, and maybe call someone to come replace me. I really was not doing well. 0755--I decided to take a Zofran melt tab. I have not used that medicine before, just during infusion day, I've had it in the IV. It was about 10:00 when I ate my english muffin. I had started drinking water, too, thinking maybe I was a little dehydrated??? I don't know, but I wasn't real steady on my feet, and not able to move real fast, either. What I did know, is that I wasn't doing well. Hm.

The nausea was easing, and the fluid intake seemed to be helping the swirling in my head, and by 11:30/12:00 or so, I was feeling like I was going to be ok. Whew.

Let me say, I have wonderful co-workers. Everyone was so caring and kind. I did do some little things, like roll the baby carts from/to the rooms for the baby docs, (it was ok, holding on to the cribs), answer the phone, stay at the desk with the babies, draw baby blood, etc. But mostly, I sat the first few hours. And was encouraged to do so. (I must have looked really bad.)

The rest of the day passed, me doing what I could to feel like I was a team player. Soon it was time to clock out.

Over to the care home, mom still has a runny nose and loose cough. I got her tucked into bed and headed home.

I told my Daniel about my morning--and that I had spoken with another wonderful person who does our scheduling. For the next treatment, I will be off the Saturday and Easter Sunday, and am scheduled to return to work Thursday and Friday. So I will have that extra day to see how I'm doing before actually coming in. And have a backup lined up, in case. Thanks, Tish, for your kindness, strength, and support.

One of the hardest things for us strong, independent people, I think, is to recognize when we need help. And then accept the help. I am learning to recognize the vulnerability, to open my heart so that others can help me, and be kind to them when they do.

Thank you, you wonderful women who cared for me, tended me, worried about me, and loved me through this morning. We made it.