Friday 10.10.08

I got up to go to work this morning feeling like I should be still asleep. I looked in the mirror and smiled, and thanked God for waking me up and giving me this gift of life. I wonder how I'll be able to share my gifts today??

I had an uneventful drive in the dark, parked 2 blocks away, the shuttle came around, I clocked in, had a good day. I was happy to see the night shift; I ended up clocking out a half hour late, just because of the late afternoon surgeries.

An uneventful drive home. Dan was at a high school football game. I got myself "undone", settled in from my workday. I was just getting a bite to eat when he got home.

We visited and caught up, then I wrote here.

I started the Effexor 37.5 mg tablets today for 7 days. I'm still having some fierce hot flashes--I hope it works like it did when I had it the first time....

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Tomorrow is haircut in the afternoon. So far, nothing else is scheduled or planned, other than enjoying the sunshine.

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Thank you for reading. Hugs.

Thursday 10.9.2008

I slept pretty good overall for a few hours, woke up at 5, back to sleep. When I woke again the sun was up. I guessed it was 8:30 ish (because you know we didn't have power in the bedrooms). I have a small battery operated radio that I turned on--8:40. Dan jumped out of bed to get started resolving the electrical issue. I lingered several minutes before rising.

So of course, I'm trying to get myself ready for the 11 o'clock appointment with Ike, and Dan's wanting me to check this, look here, etc. I tell him Sorry, I've got to shower and get ready for my appointment. I get my breakfast, but I have to check the internet for him, too.

He has the tester out, the panel apart; we decide to call the electrical supply house to see if they have these breakers and how much they are. $43 or something, each.

I have to go, Daniel is still doing what he's doing. As I get in the parking lot my phone rings. He's figured it out, gotten the breakers reset, and all is well. Whew! Dan The Man!!

I wait about 10 minutes before Ike comes out to the waiting room to get me, and we go back to room 2. We chit chat a minute then she checks me over. I was able to leave the tapes on that she put over the incisions last week; she takes them off. It looks like the incision on the breast might look a little less "dimpled", and the one under the arm doesn't look any different to me. She sees the small pockets of fluid on the inside of my elbow, on my shoulder (where it's aching), and of course, the breast itself (which has been pretty sore the last couple of days). The woundbed is firm and sore, as is the axilla/armpit. She gets to work.

She massages me, or whatever that technique is called. 45 minutes later my arm feels better, the shoulder is sore, and the breast is sore, too. She does some kind of technique on the scars to release the adhesions in the tissues, and that kind of hurts. That's ok--the treatments will either work or they won't. Gotta try....

She put more tapes over the two scars, and we're done. Thank you, see you next week.

I stop at CVS on the way home to pick up our prescriptions and new 9 volt batteries for the smoke alarms. We figured that since they were all down (for the troubleshooting process) we'll change the batteries.

Back home, Dan changes the batteries, reinstalls the alarms, and the electrical crisis is over. Although we still don't know why or what tripped the circuit breakers in the first place. If it happens again we'll have to search further.

Dan went to the chiropractor, I started food prep. We ate shortly after he got back. I cleaned up the kitchen, and had to go outside for a walk. I went back in the undeveloped area and saw lots of prints of a pair of deer, probably a small fawn and doe. That little bit of peace and nature centers me, reminds me that I'm part of what has been created.

I come back inside, Dan has gone to the clubhouse to sit in the hot tub, and he comes back shortly, feeling better.

The rest of the evening goes by.

Tomorrow is a workday for me, Dan is going to golf. May you all enjoy the beautiful autumn day.

Thank you for reading. Hugs.

Wednesday 10.8.2008 Doctor Day

I slept good the first part of the night, the morning was the same hour-intervals of wake/hot/doze. Dan got up about 8 maybe; I got up about 9, had breakfast, showered.

I had a lot of email to read, so I got started on that while waiting to leave for the doctor appointment. Ok, time to go.

We got there, parked, and went into the building. Walking up the sidewalk, I recognized a little anxiety. I took a breath and imagined all of you readers and everyone else who prayed for me and with me to get me through this cancer treatment stuff. Into the building, a few more steps, and we're in the hallway standing in front of the door to Dr. Bolmer's office. I stopped and breathed again, remembering standing in the circle holding hands and the energies surrounding me. I smiled, and with confidence, opened the door and went in. Thanks for being there with me.

I went to the window and signed in, then went to sit beside Daniel. We small talked, chit-chatted, waited our turn. Maybe 1o minutes later one of the girls without a name badge called my name.

We rose and walked over to where she was standing, and stopped at the scale. #145.6 Cool. (Looking back in the notebook, the last visit was June 4, and #146) Stable. We went into exam room 9. We've been here before. I had to laugh at myself--I walked around the room looking at the walls to see if there was anything different. There was!! A yellow paper posted on the door of the cabinet over the sink saying It's flu season--we have vaccine--ask doctor to schedule your flu shot. I sat in the chair Ms. Nameless indicated. Blood pressure 103/61 pulse 73 temp 97.5. She opens the folder which is my chart, records these numbers, and goes down the list of medications. Yes, yes, no, .....she asks me if I had asked for a copy of my labs? No, I hadn't, but could I have a copy? Yes, she says, it's right here, and hands it to me. Cool. Thanks. She says doctor will be in soon, and leaves. I thank her again.

Dan and I look at each other, he starts fiddling with his phone again, and I scrutinize the lab results. Hemoglobin 13.4. (excellent) Hematocrit 37.9 (excellent) All other blood chemistries excellent. The hormone levels are something I'm not real familiar with: Estradiol <25, LH (leutenizing hormone) 40.9, FSH (follicle stimulating hormone) 53.5. I'm sure doctor will go over that with us. I wrote the weight and blood pressure in my notebook, got my list of topics ready, and reviewed my notebook in case she asked me something I wasn't quite sure of.

Dr. Bolmer came in about 5 minutes later, and first thing, she asked how were the hot flashes?

I told her they were still annoying, and she said that they are a result of the rapid decrease of estrogen due to the chemotherapy and tamoxifen. She said that unfortunately there's not much do to about them, drugs don't work well, and that they will eventually decrease in time. She went on to tell about her own hot flashes and how they interrupt her day. I asked if I could try the 37.5 mg of Effexor again--she wrote a prescription for that for 7 days, and another prescription for 30 days and refills, if it works. Doctor looked at the labs, commenting that my body tolerated the chemo well, that the hormone levels reflect that the chemotherapy and tamoxifen are doing what they are supposed to be doing. We talked about vitamins and supplements--continue taking the Vitamins E and B6 and calcium, as well as "whatever else you're using. You look really well." Thanks.

I told her about the cognition and spatial concerns--I lose words, get off task, forget to do things, reading speed has decreased and have to concentrate on comprehending; and my depth perception seems to have changed, as well as not being able to turn my head fast and have my eyes keep up. She said that the sudden decrease of estrogen levels will make those types of changes more noticeable than when "natural menopause" occurs. That when the estrogen levels decrease gradually, the adaptive or compensatory behaviors are something we don't notice as much. Then she started talking about making lists, using reminders, repetition, and that the cognitive changes happen anyway as we age and the estrogen levels decrease. She said that chemotherapy and taxotere may also cause cataracts to grow more quickly--when do you have an eye appointment?? Soon, I replied.

She asked about vaginal dryness, as chemotherapy and taxotere can affect that, too. Then she said she was having a hot flash, she was going to go out in the hall, and I can change into a gown while she's gone. Ok.

I put the gown on, she comes back in a few minutes later. She listened to my lungs and my heart, did kind of a breast exam on the right/non-affected breast, and checked the left one, commenting on the fluid, looking at my arms and hands, asking about Ike and what she does for me. She declares me "good".

I am to see her again in 3 months, have the mammogram in November, as well as the general physical and pap smear, and have an eye exam. As she was writing all this in the chart, I put my clothes back on. I have the new prescriptions, and any others that need refilled can be done by calling the "refill line" there at the office. Ok, thank you. I shake her hand and she leaves.

I was surprised that Dan didn't say much during this visit, just was there. I guess we covered what he wanted to know...

We got outside, I breathed again, and thanked God for His gifts. The sun was trying to break through the clouds.

At home, I had something to eat and looked at emails again. After a bit my eyes got droopy, so we declared it was naptime.

We had a nice rest, got up, decided it was time for supper. I threw out a couple of ideas, he suggested Bob Evans. Ok...

So out we went. Yum. We stopped at Meijer for a couple things we missed the other day, and came back home. While we were settling in, we heard a high pitched alarm-sounding noise--what was that??

We looked around the house and found that the security alarm was showing that it went to battery. Huh? Looking more, none of the bedrooms have power. But the bathroom light switches do. And the rest of the house works, too. He checked the GFI in the bathroom, that was good, then went to the fuse box. There are two switches that are tripped and don't reset. Great. The electrical company has their sticker conveniently affixed to the fuse panel door. That's a phone call for the morning....

And it's bedtime. Tomorrow I see Ike at 11:00, then I may have to work in the afternoon, as I signed up extra on-call. We'll see.

Again, I thank you all for reading, for travelling with me through the breast cancer planet and back to wellness on planet earth. We did it.

Hugs.

Tuesday 10.7.2008

A brief night with minimal sleep; I got up and ready for work. An uneventful drive in the dark, thank you God, and I was just walking the 2 blocks over to the hospital when the shuttle came around.

The day started really nice--just one other nurse and me with just enough patients. We got a patient back from surgery, got her recovered, had lunch, then Bam! the fan turned on.

Kris W and I work very well together, and we did a good job juggling the few odd challenges that were presented us. We took good care of our patients, and by the time the night shift came in, we were ready to hand it over. I didn't clock out until after 7:30, though. I was glad to leave.

I walked across the road and the 2 blocks back to the car. The mild autumn air smells really good. I drove home with my feet "tingling", my back sore. Yup. That's why it's called work.

Dan was home when I got there. I put my things away, showered, and wrote here.

Tomorrow is our appointment with Dr. Bolmer, and I have my list. It's short, but I have to write it down to make sure we cover it. I'm anxious to see my lab work and my weight.

I'm off to bed.

Thank you for reading. Hugs.

Monday 10.6.2008

I didn't sleep much between midnight and 4:30--at o425 the phone rang. It was my turn to stay home. Oh, ok. I got up, took a tylenol and motrin, and went back to bed. Dan hadn't slept real well either, and we settled in for "the rest of the story". I put the earphone in and listened to the radio for a while, finally turning it off and went to sleep about 6:45. Sheesh.

Dan was snoring as I looked at the clock: 0945. Funny how when one wakes up the other one does. He woke up about fifteen minutes later.

We got up and started the day. Liz from Dr. Bolmer's office called to remind me of my appointment on Wednesday, and asked if I had gotten my blood drawn. I told her I had, when and where, and she said she would look it up on the computer. Ok, thanks.

He had a noon meeting lined up, and while he was gone I enjoyed a shower. When he came back, the mail had arrived, and a different phone for him was in it. He spent the rest of the afternoon fooling around with that. We decided to go out for dinner, then to Meijer for a few groceries.

Back home, I put some cookies in the oven for a potluck luncheon for the volunteers that knit baby hats and such for our babies. As I was putting a baking sheet in the oven, somehow it kind of slipped out of my hand and landed on the oven door. That part was ok, but some of the cinnamon and sugar had gotten on the door and into the bottom hinged area. Some of the stuff continued on through to the drawer below. I rearranged the cookies on the pan, put those in the oven, got a dry cloth and wiped off the door before the sugar burnt on, and while they were baking, I took the drawer out and cleaned it and the assorted variety of baking pans of the sugar and cinnamon (and dusty bits) that were there. I'll have to check on the rest of the stuff in the hinge after it cools off.

The rest of the evening I caught up on the internet.

As I was drying from my shower earlier today, the skin sloughed off from the areola and nipple again. The newly exposed layer was tender; I put some silvadene ointment on it. My shoulder has been achy tonight, too.

I'm off to bed--tomorrow is a workday.

Thank you for reading. Hugs.