Friday December 28, 2007

This morning I went out for a run before the snow started. Or so I thought. A block out and it started flurrying. Ok. Within 5 minutes it was snowing in earnest, and I kept going, as it wasn't really cold or blowing. Just snow.... By the time I got back home, the fleece part of my coat was covered, and I had shaken the snow off of my sleeves several times while I was out. I had my hood pulled up, with a knit cap underneath. The forehead of the cap was covered in snow. I took my coat off outdoors and shook it off, and when I came in my cap dripped as it melted. I felt like the snowman/kid on the Campbell's Soup commercial.

I also noticed when I was out, that my breast didn't seem to be as bothersome, movement-wise. After I showered, I checked it out in the mirror. It does seem to be another little tiny bit of a smidgen smaller, maybe. Still full under the arm, though not as full as it was a couple weeks ago. I'm not real keen on the way that incision looks, though, and will continue to keep an eye on it. The incision on the breast is kind of dimpling. Ideally it will smooth out as the breast heals. It's definitely smaller and different shaped than the other. Does it really matter??--After all, the cancer's gone....

Daniel and Kristen left to take her over to Detroit Metro about 1:30. As soon as they left, I put the sheets in the laundry, vacuumed, cleaned the kitchen, changed laundry over, had a bite to eat, re-made the bed, then headed to Jackson. The snow had changed to rain south of Mason, and by the time I got to Jackson I had seen 5 vehicles off the road. Mom was quiet, I fed her and got her tucked into bed, then headed back home. It was 35 degrees, roads were wet, and the greatest annoyance was the road spray from other vehicles.

I put together scalloped potatoes and ham, put it in the oven, emptied the dishwasher, had another bite to eat, wrote here, and now it's off to bed. Saturday and Sunday are work days.

Thank you for reading, and commenting. It's great to know you're out there.

Wednesday 12.26.2007

Wonderful!! Today dawned with sunshine, Daniel went to go work out at his fitness place, and I lazed on the bed like a dog in the sun. I did get up after a while, had breakfast, etc, then I went out for a run.

I showered, and did the breast inspection. Not much different, maybe just a bit smaller. That incision on the areola is indented/puckered, and the spot between the incision and nipple is still a different color and very sore and tender. The underarm incision looks about like yesterday, but maybe the fullness is just a bit less. And it seems more moveable, though it fills back up. Overall, I see a little improvement today. And I feel good.

I called a couple of wig shops to check on hours and pricing, as our BCBS doesn't cover a hair prosthetic. Fortunately, though, the cancer insurance does, so that will be reimbursed. I think all is moving along well, and I'm happy for the break in appointments.

Thank you for reading--hope you are enjoying this holiday season.

Christmas Day 2007

Merry Christmas

I slept well, woke up with sinus pressure and swelling on the right side of my face around my eye. Eww. I wandered around the house, made a fresh pot of coffee and sipped the warm fluid. That felt good. I eventually started feeling better, and removed the ace wrap to have a look...

Whoa!! The swelling has gone down quite a lot in the breast, and it looks, um, different. Like I've had a breast reduction, on the top half. The bottom half is still full and a little firm, but I think there's fluid caught in there. The incision on the breast is still tender and sore, but firm immediately around it, and kind of puckering. I hope that smoothes out. The underarm is full, but maybe not as much. That incision is like indented, maybe like an "innie" belly button. I hope that one smoothes out, too. The swelling above the wound creates a fold at the incision line, and the sensation is bothersome, even though it's still mostly numb.

And then, comparing it to the other breast. Definitely not symmetrical. Hm. Left nipple looking out, right one like a lazy eyelid. And the left one is about an inch higher than the other. This could be an interesting bra-fitting issue. Ah, well, it's not done healing, I'll try to be patient and watch the process, and not worry (too much) about the long term outcome. I go shower, and massage the fluid around, which helps some. The reality is that I can't massage it all day. I do try to move the fluid frequently, though, and keep it compressed with the ace wrap. The ace wrap is a comfort measure, too. I try to leave the wrap off for a couple of hours after bathing to let things rest and see what happens, and I find myself supporting the breast with my hand, and it does seem to be uncomfortable just hanging there. It's ok if I'm able to rest my elbow on the arm of the sofa, with the heating pad over my shoulder and tucked into the armpit. I noticed, too, in the shower, that the numbness down the underside of the upper arm is still there, but maybe not as intense. That will be wonderful to have resolved.

Our afternoon passed by--I putzed around, prepared and ate food, I went to the nursing home and back, all without incident. It's now time for bed again.

I hope you are having a great Christmas season. Thank you for reading, for sharing yourselves with me and Dan. Your support is nurturing us, giving us courage and strength.

Saturday 12.22.2007

I got up this morning and started my day--thank you Lord for this gift of life, let me get through this day with a positive attitude and reflection of Your love.

I put the cherry pie together and put that in the oven, then go to shower. Daniel goes out to run some errands, and comes back in a short time later.

After I showered, I called out to Daniel--Come here, please, it's time for breast inspection :)

I stand in front of the full length mirror and put my arm up over my head and look, turning front to side, then front, then side.... Hm. The breast itself is much softer today, and looks to be reducing in size. Hm. Could be a challenge later, though, as I see that the right breast, the unaltered one, is looking a little, shall we say, aged?? when compared to the left. The affected side is blinking straight ahead and off to the left, while the unaffected side is looking just a little more downward, like maybe instead of at the chest, at the bellybutton. The underside of the surgical breast is still firm and full, but not as much as yesterday. Hmm. And the medial side, or side towards the middle, is softer, almost normal. WooHoo! Still quite firm at the top of the areola, though, where the incision is, and directly under the incision, or the inside of the breast, the tissue is still firm and tender where the tumor was removed. And the nipple is really tender. The areola is finally regaining some color, though the area where the dye was injected is still somewhat blanched and discolored. And tender. BUT--overall--better. Breathe.

The armpit incision is still an indent in the puffy underarm, although it doesn't appear to be as full, either. I picked at the incision--to the back end was a crusty thing that you know I just had to get off. I wondered if it would drain anything, and I pressed around it, but nothing happened. Oh well. It's not as full, so what's happening to the fluid?? I look some more, Dan presses around to the ribs around the back. It's here, he says. And we giggle at the jiggle in my left (butt)cheek. Overall, better. Praise the Lord it's not going down into my arm and hand.

I put the lights and ornaments on the Christmas tree, Dan puts the lights on the balcony railing, and we wrap gifts. There. Pretty much ready for Christmas. I have a bite to eat, then leave for the afternoon. Hair appointment, nursing home, then I come home, change clothes, freshen up, then off to Flint for the 58th Sander Christmas Sing... Fa la la la la la...

Even though we arrived about 9:00, we were in time to sing several songs. What a beautiful thing, the love and community of this family event. Thanks to Etta Mary and Wayne for their energies and efforts. Of course, lots of conversations and hugs and goodies afterwards, and I appreciate hearing other peoples' experiences with cancers and treatments. We were finally able to weave our way out, and got back home shortly after midnight.

Thanks to all for your love and support, hugs and encouragement.