Friday, October 31, 2008

Friday 10.31.08 Spooky

I woke up this morning about 0415, and you know my alarm (radio) comes on at 0430. I did doze back off, but pried my eyelids open, got out of bed, and ready for the workday.

An uneventful drive to Jackson, (thank you God) and I parked and had my morning walk over to the hospital.

We had a good day with good co-workers. The day could have turned "hairy" in the afternoon, but it didn't. (thank you again)

After clocking out, I went to visit the patient and her family that I had reconnected with the other day. They were all very pleasant, and as we talked about the past, they warmed my heart. The patient herself is recovering somewhat, but it's still unknown as to how much she will regain. Prayers for strength and healing are appreciated.

I finally got home about 9 pm. Dan had a great afternoon golfing, and plans to do it again tomorrow. I may try a small project or two.

Today I noticed that I'm guarding my shoulder, not extending or reaching out with my arm, as it pulls the cording in the lower arm and is very uncomfortable. (Can you say "ow"?) My breast is sore, too, and I finally took tylenol/motrin with lunch, which made for a better afternoon.

I also saw several of the girls from the nursing home today, as one of those girls has had a baby. They each smiled and chatted for a minute, and of course hugs. It was nice to see them.

Enjoy your day, and thank you for reading. Hugs.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Thursday 10.30.2008

I ended up staying up and reading a library book last night. It was pretty good. I finished it and went to bed about 2:30 this morning.

I slept ok, waking a few times, but getting up about 9. I had breakfast, then showered, got ready to go to Jackson.

I went to Countryside Care Center to visit Martha, the activities director, to deliver the beautiful blankets that Kathy Sue embroidered for the residents. Martha and I developed a nice relationship during the years that mom was there, and we had a nice visit. As I was leaving, I saw one of the nurses, Linda, who hugged me, and we chatted briefly, as well as a director, Sherry. We did the same.

I left there about 2, did my banking, and decided to spend the 40 minutes or so before my dental appointment browsing through Big Lots. Boy, they have a lot of stuff.

I got to the dentist and waited my turn. I had x-rays done--Debbie the hygienist showed me the images. There are 3 spots that look like "something". When Doctor Hess came in, he said he'd watch 2 and schedule the third spot to be repaired. Shoot. I don't like having fillings done. It's pretty small, so it shouldn't be a big deal, but all the same....

Then the ride home. Beautiful 54 degrees. I was really hungry.

Daniel had started rice, and was cooking meat, for nachos. I fixed us a couple of plates--they were yummy, but I prepared way to much. Even Dan couldn't finish his. Oh well, we're thankful we have enough to eat.

Tomorrow is a workday, and Dan is golfing.

The cording down my arm is making itself known. Daniel had taken hold of my arm and was going to rub it, but it was too uncomfortable (read: painful) to be doing that without any pain medicine on board. I'm sure it will get better as time goes on. At least that's what I'm putting in my head.

And my breast is tender in the woundbed, and the nipple sloughed off again after the shower.

And I'm still having hot flashes, though not as frequent during the night. Still intense, though.

My "leftovers" are really not much in the grand scheme of things. I'm glad to be a Survivor.

Thank you for reading, for continuing to support me and others. Together we get through it.


Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Wednesday 10.29.2008

I had a good day today, sleeping pretty good overall. Daniel got up and went to an 0810 appointment. Of course, I went back to sleep...

I got up about 9. I read some, then had breakfast. I read a bit more before Dan got back. I got dressed.

One of Dan's friends called and asked if he wanted to go to a movie this afternoon. Dan, courteously, asked if I'd like to go. No, thanks, I'm not fond of movie theaters. Number one, too expensive. Number 2, I can't pause when I need to get up, and Number 3, can't rewind/replay if I missed what was said, or "did you see that...???" Especially Number 4, Other People's noise. OP don't seem to respect my movie-going experience.

So, no thank you, I'll rent it if I want to see it, and watch it at my convenience.

While he was gone, I read a little more, made a couple of phone calls, then went outside for a walk. It was beautiful--41 degrees or so, sunny, but windy. Briskly windy. I was glad I had a hood on my coat. I pulled it up and was comfortable. I wandered around the complex here, looking at the different seasonal decor that a lot of the residents have done. The bright sun glowed on the gold and orangey-reds of the leaves against the blue sky. It was a "wow, thank you, God" view.

As I was coming up to our garage, Dan was coming home, too. We decided to go up to Meijer and pick up a few groceries to fix dinner with, so we did.

When we returned back home, I cooked outside on the grill while Dan fixed the rest of the meal inside. It was yummy.

After dinner, we sat around, each checking the computer stuff. That's when I realized that I hadn't written last night.

So, I wrote here, and will be turning in soon.

Tomorrow I have a time scheduled with Martha Smoyer at Countryside Care Center, where Mom was, to visit and to deliver the beautiful blankets that Kathy Sue has made for the Residents. Then I have a dental cleaning at 3 pm.

My arm has "pulled" along the cording at different times today. It's tender to press on it, but I try to use it and stretch it out. I've noticed that I've been "holding" my breast today, too. It's sore and tender, seemingly in the woundbed. At some point, I'll be all healed up and not have any more "nudges". At least, that's what I'm putting in my head...

Thank you for reading. I hope you've been able to enjoy God's beautiful world.


Tuesday 10.28.2008

Sorry. I realized Wednesday night that I didn't write Tuesday night. Guess I was more tired than I thought....

I worked, and even though we weren't terribly busy, we were busy enough.

At the end of the shift, a woman came up to the desk, visibly upset. She recognized one of the night shift nurses, tried to make small talk. She had asked about someone she thought might be a patient, but I didn't find the name in the computer. When I told her, she fell apart, trying her best to maintain composure, but obviously unable to do so. She said her mother was at the hospital, having had a fall, now with a brain bleed, and the unknown outcome that only time will tell. She was so...., well..., I just had to go around the desk and opened my arms to her. She held me, I held her, she cried and cried.

After she was able to talk again, she and my co-worker were catching up, and as they were talking about her mother again, and the girl said her mother's name, I realized that I knew them both. From my "old life".

I said so, out loud. This girl looked at me, I told her my name, and oh-my-gosh, she remembered me and a look of relief came on her face. She apologized again for falling apart, cried again, then said so many nice things about me, that her mom really liked me, and her other siblings, too, and oh-my-gosh you look so different with short hair and isn't it darker...???

I told her I had recently finished treatment for breast cancer. She asked a couple of questions, we had a little small talk, and she had nothing but good things to say from knowing me what, 20 years ago?? How nice. I thanked her, shared a quick prayer with her for her mother, and she left.


A good drive home, Dan and I caught up on our day, I had a snack, and checked email. I don't know how I missed writing here...

My arm is "pulling" down the forearm which I'm sure is the cording, as well as the cording below the left ribs. And the shoulder is achy.

Thank you for reading. Hugs.

Monday, October 27, 2008

Monday 10.27.2008

Another lovely day. Daniel and I didn't do much other than be together, which is very nice. Oh--we watched it sleet/hail. We ended up with a thin layer of white pebbly ice on the balcony that lasted for maybe a half hour.

I made appointments for a mammogram on the 14th of November, and an eye exam the following week. Getting back to the annual regimes...

That's it. Same discomforts, same prayers, lots of thanks for this gift of life.

Tomorrow is a work day.


Sunday, October 26, 2008

Sunday 10.26.2008

What a beautiful day it turned out to be!! We woke to rain this morning which cleared to mostly sunny blue skies, although windy.

Dan and I enjoyed the morning inside, then in the afternoon, Dan suggested going out for a walk. (!!) We went out in the neighborhood to the north of us and were out maybe 40 minutes. The sun was lovely, but the wind was gusty and had a bit of a nip.

Back inside, we decided to go out for food, ending up at Los Tres Amigos. Yum.

The evening we didn't do much else.

No changes here--hot flashes, sore breast, cording in left arm and under ribs. I only had one dose of tylenol/motrin today.

Tomorrow is another day off with no particular thing planned.

Thank you for reading. Hugs.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Saturday 10.25.2008

I slept fair, and finally feel rested. I got up hungry and fixed scrambled eggs with cheese and zucchini for us. My right jaw was still sore, so soft felt better.

After breakfast I showered, and that left nipple sloughed off again while drying off. I still have the pulling sensation in my forearm when I extend my arm, and also the "cording" is still present below my left rib.

Dan and I went to Meijer and picked up a few groceries, came home and put them away, then went over to daughter Kim's in Springport for her grand-daughter (our great grand) 2 year birthday celebration. We were there for a couple of hours then came back home. I fixed us some supper, we watched Michigan State beat Michigan, but before the game was done, Dan was napping. We also had laundry going.

The rest of the evening passed. I finished the household chores, checked the internet, wrote here.

Tomorrow I don't think we have any plans. Hm. Let's see....

Thank you for reading. Hugs.

Friday, October 24, 2008

Friday 10.24.08

Boy, was I tired. I had fallen asleep, and snoring, so Dan says. He got up in the morning and left for a 7:50 eye appointment--of course, I stayed in bed, waking about 9. I felt better, and was hungry.

As I was brushing my teeth, I discovered that my mouth was still sore. Mostly the jaw hinge on the right side, but down in the lower area, too, where the stuff was injected. I took some tylenol/motrin, had a large water, putzed around, and after 45 minutes or so, had my breakfast. I caught up on yesterday's post, and after I was done with that, I was tired again, and went in and laid on the bed.

I woke up an hour later.

It was about 2:30. Dan was golfing somewhere near Kalamazoo, I think, and wouldn't be home for a while yet. I checked email, started catching up on several days of messages. I was hungry again, so I had lunch and another couple of tylenol.

The rest of the afternoon I spent looking at the computer, as I had many messages, and some had links to information. One of the links was about chemo brain. Very interesting. Cognitive/brain function things I had noticed and tried not to be concerned about, but can't help wondering--is this what I'm left with??

Daniel came in shortly after 7. He got himself settled in, we visited a bit, I read him some of that chemo brain article. We've talked about the changes in me that we've noticed; I guess it's good to see something in print about it. Only time will tell.

Right now I'm thankful that I came through as well as I did, overall, and that I'm cancer-free.

And I'm thankful for each and every one of you. Hugs.

Thursday 10.23.2008

Whew. I got up and went to work, which turned out to be a good day work-wise, but boy, was I out of sorts.

I was orienting a new-to-us girl (she's been a hospital employee for about 3 years, so we orient to "our way" of doing things) and was, fortunately, able to go to Dr. Hess' office for my 11:00 appointment. She had just a few tasks to do while I was gone, and there were others there to help her, of course.

I got over to the dentist's office and was called in after just a few minutes. In the chair, with the paper bib and eyeglass chain around my neck. Dr. comes in, looks at the tooth again, and he injects the numbing stuff. Then he asks his assistant Sandy for another dose!! What?? I didn't think it was that bad... Anyway, he injects the lower jaw with the second quantity of 4% prilocaine with epinephrine. He leaves the room to let that "soak in" for several minutes, and Sandy stays with me. We chat as my cheek, right half of my tongue, and right half of my lower lip feel ginormous and invisible. (how can that be...??)

I'm feeling the effects of the stuff, and really don't feel like talking any more. I focus on breathing and relaxing. (I totally hate having my mouth numbed for dental work. As a kid, I would have my teeth filled/repaired without anesthesia. I know, strange. But my uncle was my dentist, he was very kind and good, and if I needed to "rest" a minute, I just put my hand up and he'd pause. It only jolts for the brief moment the drill gets to the healthy nerve tissue, anyway. In my mind, it's much better than having my mouth destroyed for several hours...) As I quiet down and try to maintain control, Sandy is setting up behind me, and Doctor Hess comes in.

He checks to see if I'm numb, murmers something to Sandy, and they proceed. I don't feel much other than the pressure and the occasional moving of my lips and cheek. As he was removing the remainder of the old filling, I felt the jolt of the nerve being touched. Yep. And a couple more times after that. That's ok. I don't want any more of that stuff.

He finishes doing what he does, filling the void of the banded tooth, tamping it in, and whatever else they do. Sometime I'd like to watch this procedure. Not soon enough, he's done. Oh--I didn't know he'd taken the band off! He says I'm all set, I thank him, and he tells me I'm a good patient. Hm. I'm not feeling so good right now...

Sandy sits me up in the chair, and I sit there, breathing, trying to regroup. I don't feel so good. I can't quite put my finger on it, but I know that I'm not ready to get up. She's very kind, and continues a light, quiet conversation, mostly one-sided, while I'm recovering. In my own mind I'm thinking "what's going on here--I've had this done before, I've been able to get up and leave. Nope, not ready yet. Hm. I've had a biopsy, needle localization, 2 surgeries, and my breast manipulated in unimaginable ways, and I'm having a hard time with my mouth???" Geez. It must not be unusual, as Sandy is very calm. I have to get back to work...

I breathe some more, then stand up. I guess I'm ok. I thank her with half a mouth. I don't know if it's moving or not, and my words sound funny. I check out at the desk, write a check for half--$118.50--and go on my way.

Out in the car I look in the mirror. (Don't you do that??) Hm. Looks ok. My mouth moves when I open it, and my tongue comes out and moves around, but I don't feel it. It's the oddest thing. I'm still not good, and still can't describe what it is.

I get back to the unit, I've been gone about an hour. Cool. Everything is good there, one of the other girls has taken the orientee under her wing and doing a good job. The girls tell me I don't look so good. (great) I try to have a good attitude, do what needs to be done, and not talk much. I did take tylenol and motrin, because I know when this stuff wears off it's going to be sore... And I used a straw, because I couldn't feel the cup on my lip. *smile*

I am very surprised that as the afternoon wears on, I'm still feeling punky, odd, strange. And not just the facial thing.

Finally my face and mouth return, and the very center of my chin is itchy. But it does decrease over the next half hour or so, and by 5 pm, the majority of the numbness is gone. I still feel like I'm standing on the inside looking out. But at least I can talk now.

I'm hungry--I had soup and oyster crackers about 1:30--but didn't get to eat until about 6:30, as I was catching up on patient care and trying to interact with my orientee.

One of the patients called and asked for me to come help with breastfeeding. Sure--I shoved the food in my face, chewed while washing my hands, swallowed while walking down the hall. (the life of a nurse, really) I ended up clocking out almost 7:30. Of course, the baby got fed.

Looking at staffing for Friday, there are several of us scheduled in our job role. The way I'm feeling, I requested to be on-call.

I got home and visited with Daniel briefly, vegged out while the tylenol and motrin kicked in, and I went to bed. Sorry, I just didn't feel like writing.

Thank you for reading, and remember, brush and floss.


Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Wednesday 10.22.08

The temperature at 0800 was 32-34 degrees out on the tree. We were comfortable indoors at 68 degrees with the radiant heater and fans to move the warmed air around. (Forced air??) The day was clear, and the wind had calmed and shifted to coming from the East. It’s so beautiful looking out across the lake, with the blue of the sky reflected in the water, and the far shoreline with autumn’s colors of gold, red, rust, greens, and the tree trunks contrasting with dark brownish gray and white birch.

KS and I putzed around this morning, gathering our belongings and getting ready to leave. We each cleaned our sleeping areas, KS packed and loaded her car. We went out for a walk. It looks different with a lot of the foliage down, and definitely smells like fall. The thermometer shows 40 degrees; the sun is warm, but the wind is cold.

Back inside, I hugged KS and she went on her way home around 12:30. I finished cleaning—bathroom, kitchen, etc, and got myself loaded and ready to go. I had something to eat, then left about 4 o’clock.

I had a good drive home, and got here about 7 PM. Daniel wasn't home yet, but came in about 7:45, when I was just about unpacked. He brought his friend Phil with him--he'll be our houseguest at least this evening, and maybe a couple more.

I finished unpacking, had a snack, then showered, and wrote here.

Tomorrow is a workday, as is Friday. I also have an appointment with Dr. Hess to have that tooth repaired properly. I hope I'm able to leave work to do that.

My shoulder has been pretty sore/achy the last couple of days, and the "cording" below my ribs on the left side is more prominent and still tender. I found something on the web about it--it's called Mondor's Disease, and if you click here you can read this doctor's description of it. Pretty weird. (my affect is like the bottom half of "B")

I would like to thank God for the wonderful gift of life--and the ability to share it with people I love.

Thank you for reading. Hugs.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Tuesday 10.21.2008

I slept pretty good, awake a few times. I did wake up about dawn and watched the sunrise over a rippled lake and clear sky. I dozed back off after a bit.

When I woke again it was close to 0900. Kathy wasn’t up yet. The sun was up, a few clouds were moving in, and the north wind had picked up. So much so that there were whitecaps on the lake. More like wave action than wind action.

We breakfasted and had a quiet morning. We went over to her parents’ place, visited some, then brought her mother back to our place for a couple hours.

We had some “girl time”—KS and Mary sat at the table and peeled and sliced apples while I mixed up a cake and readied the pans for an apple upside-down cake. With that in the oven, we then fixed grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup and had ourselves a lovely lunch.

The cakes were done and out of the oven and flipped over, sprinkled with sugar and cinnamon—yum.

They had cooled some, and I fixed a plate for Mary to take home, and she and Kathy Sue left. I washed up the lunch dishes.

KS came back and we had some “downtime”. She rested and I looked at lighting the pilot on the furnace again. After talking with Kathy’s dad Keith and my Daniel, and I had watched the guy from the gas company light it, I checked it all over again, starting at the tank outside and following the line in. I was still unable to get it lit. Oh well. We do have a radiant heater thing that is working well, so we don’t really need the furnace on.

The wind has slowed down some and the sky has cleared. Kathy suggested we go for a drive around the lake, and we did. Beautiful.

Back at the Cabin, we fixed dinner and ate, then cleaned up the kitchen and wound down for the night.

Tomorrow, KS needs to leave before noon, and I’ll be a couple hours behind her.

Thank you for reading. Hugs.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Monday 10.20.2008

I was sleeping when the phone rang this morning. I sensed it was daylight, and hoped it was shortly after 0800 and that it was the dentist’s office. It was 8:02 AM and it was the dentist’s office.

She told me doctor could see me at 10:30 today, and might put a temporary filling on it, or they have an opening Thursday at 11. I told her I’d come in this morning, and could I have the Thursday appointment also to have the “real” work done?? Sure, she said, and I thanked her for calling so promptly, and that I’d see her soon.

I got ready for the day, and had a lovely trip to Jackson. The gentleman in the waiting room was called back, then I was. I could hear voices from the room next to me; it sounded like he was getting prepped for whatever he was having done. Then the doctor and his assistant came in to my room.

We chatted a minute, then he put on his mask and gloves, and looked in my mouth. “Oh,” he said. “That’s pretty obvious.” Yep. He said he would put a temporary filling in it, kind of like “bondo” he said. Ok. They did what they do, and I was back in the car at 10:43 heading home. No kidding.

I thanked him for taking care of me, See you Thursday.

(I’ll have to leave work for a bit. We’ll see how that goes…)

Back home, I got my things ready to go to the lake. I had a sandwich, Dan helped carry things to the car, big hugs and kisses, and I was on my way by 1:40.

I had a good drive, with rain at Saginaw that changed to drizzle by the time I pulled into the driveway of the Jacque Cabin. It was 4:45.


Kathy Sue had arrived just 15-20 minutes before me. It was good to see her.

We got my car unloaded, and we settled in. Before long, we fixed yummy grilled cheese sandwiches.

We spent the evening catching up, then turned in for the night.

Thank you, God, for the gifts of life and friendship.

And thank you, Reader, for reading. Hugs.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Sunday 10.19.2008

I am very happy to say that I slept pretty good last night. I only woke a couple of times, went right back to sleep, and woke again a few minutes before the alarm came on.

I got up and got ready for work. An uneventful drive in the dark and I arrive in Jackson. I'm able to park a block and a half away. It's 32 degrees this morning as I'm walking over to the building. I wonder if my head steams like a football player when I'm having a hot flash???

We had a fairly nice day on our side, but the other wing was having it's challenges. I will say that the staff that were there did a remarkable job, and I have sincere respect for them for the way the situations were handled.

The shift ended and I drove home.

Daniel's kind of punky this evening, headache he says. He has taken himself off to bed as I write this.

Tomorrow I hope the dentist's office wakes me to tell me I can come in and get that broken/missing filling repaired before noon. Not that it hurts, but needs the crater needs to be fixed. I'd like to be able to travel in the afternoon. We'll see...

I've had some interesting discomforts today. As I reached my left arm out to do things, I can feel the cording pulling both above and below my elbow. I don't remember feeling it below my elbow, almost halfway down to my hand. I don't see any swelling, but it is tender if I touch it in the right spot. Also, just below my left ribcage is tender, in the front. As I was wondering why it's sore there, and feeling it, there is a vertical cord about 3 inches long from just under the rib downward. Dan could feel it, too. Very odd.

I guess that's it for today. Thank you for reading. Hugs.

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Saturday 10.18.2008

I didn't sleep real well, but got up and got ready for work.

It was dark, and I was on the entrance ramp to the highway on a sweeping curve. My headlights caught beady eyes maybe 2 or 3 feet tall. I was only going about 35, and I took my foot off the gas. It was a deer coming up out of the ditch. No, wait--it's a BUCK!! Wow!! I tried to look at it as carefully as I could while going past. It had a pretty good set of antlers, maybe 8 points, or 10. I thought the ears were huge, and the horns were maybe twice the size of the ears. And his neck was really thick. Wow. He watched me go by, posed as he was. That was really neat.

The rest of the drive was uneventful. I got to the hospital, parked a block and a half away, and walked over. We had a good group of co-workers and a good group of patients, too. We had a real nice day, and with the discharged patients gone, we had to staff down. It was about 4:30 in the afternoon.

It wasn't my turn, but I was getting a little tired, so I offered to go. I was chewing gum--and after I had clocked out, I felt something let loose on a tooth. Uh-oh. Sure enough. I opened my mouth and dropped the gum in my hand, and there was the filling from that tooth, too. Shoot.

Now what??

I called the dentist's office, and left a message of what had happened, and that I needed to be seen first thing Monday morning, as I was leaving town for a few days. (I'm planning to go to the Lake) I hope I'm able to have it repaired before I go. We'll see.

I headed home.

Dan was home, and we visited a bit. I had a bite to eat (biscuit and banana), and checked email and wrote here. I also had tylenol and motrin, as my shoulder has been achy today, as well as the corded area that Ike worked on yesterday. The breast is tender, too, though not as much as it was prior to treatment.

Tomorrow is a another workday. I'm hoping to get some rest tonight.

Thank you for reading. Hugs.

Friday, October 17, 2008

Friday 10.17.08

I woke up before the alarm, hungry, so I got up and had breakfast before showering. Then I was off to see Ike.

As she evaluated my arm and breast, I told her how uncomfortable and sore it had been this week. She moves my arm and presses just above the elbow--Ouch!! What's that??!! She says it's the cording. Oh, I said. And she gets to work doing what she does.

When she's done, the arm feels a little better, and the breast, too, but that's really sore now. She said the prescription needs renewed again (it's been 30 days already?) and she'll fax it over to Dr. Bolmer's office, and call me to set an appointment time when it comes back. Thank you, Ike.

I stop at CVS to pick up prescriptions on the way home.

Dan isn't home when I get back--seems he went to the post office.

We spent the rest of the afternoon catching up on emails and such. At one point he turned to me and asked if we are Internet Junkies. I suppose we are--we were both absorbed in reading and typing...

I fixed him a plate of food before he left to officiate another high school football game.

The rest of the evening I caught up with emails and my blog site. (finally)

Saturday and Sunday are workdays, so it's up early again for me.

Enjoy the autumn weekend, and thank you for reading. Hugs.

Thursday 10.16.2008, Again

I got up and went to My Annual Physical with Dr. James Taylor. It was an interesting perspective, being there where he and I first discussed "what if it is something...", meaning the lump and soreness in my breast, back in October of 2007. Now, on the other side of Something, I'm back to having a "normal" office visit. We caught up on my treatment, and he and Dr. David DeBiose, the radiation oncologist, had gone to med school together. Dr. Taylor said they had attended a college reunion recently where he and Dr. DeBiose were seated at the same table together. I asked if they talked about me--Dr. T kind of smiled and said yes, but only on a one-to-one basis, not in a group....

So he looked me over, inside and out, we talked about how I did with the medications and what the treatment plan is from here. I had taken him a copy of the bloodwork I had had a couple of weeks ago for Dr. Bolmer, and he was impressed that my CBC had rebounded so well. (He had been getting copies of labs during chemo) We decided what other labs we wanted with this blood draw. I thought it interesting that he drew the incision sites on the pictogram--the outline of the body, front and back view. But I guess that's what it's for...

We talked about the hot flashes. He had a suggestion for the catapress patch, which I will ask Dr. Bolmer about at some point. I still haven't decided if the 37.5 mg of effexor is better than the 75 mg extended release. I know that it did help when I first took it. He also offered acupuncture. I've done other acupuncture treatments with him for other things. Now, though, the insurance we have doesn't cover it. $75 for the first treatment, $50 for each of the rest. And he said it would be 5 or 6 treatments. Whoa--I'm not sure I'm that uncomfortable. I told him I'd call to schedule it if I decided to do it. (Well, I am that uncomfortable, but if they are going to decrease like Dr. Bolmer says, do I want to spend that much money?? Not right now)

He and I finish. I get dressed, the girl Rhoda? comes to get me for my blood draw. Fortunately she gets right in, first stab, and fills the 3 tubes she has ready. Whew. And I sit there several minutes while my wooziness goes away. Ok. I sign the paper at the checkout window and am on my way. Oh, by the way, my weight was 146# on their scale (and I forgot to ask what it was previous visit) and blood pressure 100/70. All clear till next year.

Out in the parking lot, I get in the car and call Frank. He answers and I ask him if he'd like to have breakfast with me. (even though it's now 11:30--I haven't eaten, and he has just gotten up) We meet at Marr's on Michigan Avenue near the hospital, which works for me, as I have a meeting from 3 til 6.

Frank and I have a good visit, and we leave the restaurant shortly after 1. He has to get ready for work.

I have the laptop with me, and I go over to the hospital to the meeting room, set up, and connect to the internet, which is where I wrote the previous Thursday post.

The meeting happened as meetings do, and I left to come home.

Dan was officiating a football game so he wasn't home. I got settled in, and he came in about 10:00, cold and tired. But, he did take the time to install the new modem which had arrived earlier today.

So we're back online.

Friday is a 10 AM appointment with Ike.

Thank you for reading. Hugs.

Wednesday 10.15.08

I ended up sleeping until about 9:00. Yum.

Got up, showered, had breakfast, and didn't do much the rest of the day, other than go to Meijer and pick up a few groceries.

My breast is making itself known--sore and tender, almost like period discomfort, but I'm sure it's the lymph fluid and other changes from radiation and such. I see Ike Friday. Motrin and tylenol help, though not 100%, and not for very long.

Thursday I see Dr. James Taylor for my annual physical, and my first visit since last October, when I went to him about the sore breast that turned out to be cancer. (I have seen him a couple of times at the hospital while he was seeing patients, though.) I won't eat breakfast before going, so I'll be able to have blood drawn there after he and I discuss how I am. I'm sure he'll want a lipid profile to check cholesterol and such, and we'll see about anything else.

Thank you for reading. Hugs.

Tuesday 10.14.2008

Tuesday I worked, getting up at 0430 after a short night's sleep.

We, The Co-Workers and I, were blessed to take a moment to view the beautiful brilliant orange sunrise. The gift of another day, brightly unwrapping itself, and we thanked and praised the Lord for it.

The day went on. The afternoon fell apart, we patched it back together as we could, and were finally able to clock out.

Back at home, Dan and I chatted, caught up with each other, and I ended up going to bed about 9:30. I thought I might read a little--very little. One paragraph and I realized that reading wasn't going to happen. So, I settled in. Dan came in just as I was falling asleep.

I'm looking forward to sleeping in the morning...

Thank you for reading. Hugs.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Monday 10.13.2008

Monday October 13, 2008

I worked today. The morning was pretty good, then the afternoon was a flurry of activity, everything happening at once and scrambling to get timed events done in a (somewhat) timely fashion. I had wanted to leave early to attend a presentation in Lansing that started at 7 pm, and right from the get-go, the co-worker who had offered to cover for me had called in absent with sick children at home. I don't fault anyone for staying home with their family members...

And then the afternoon got sooo busy. I had accepted that I wouldn't be able to go, darn it. Well, the overflow unit had discharged all of their patients, and one of those nurses agreed to take over for me. COOL! I sat down to enter everything I had just done in the last 3 hours at 1700, (I noticed that my feet and calves were tingling), made a short list of 3 things that still needed done, and clocked out at 1730. I made it home, changed clothes, brushed teeth, and made it to the Conference Center at 1850. WooHoo!!

Ike was already there and had seats for us. The speaker was Heather Jose, (click here for a link) whose topic was I'm Killing Cancer Every Day. She was diagnosed at age 26 with Stage IV breast cancer, found a team that believed they could fight it, and is now 10 years older. Praise the Lord!! She shares our belief that positive attitude makes gobs of difference...

I had a brief conversation with her after the program, what a nice girl. Ike had left, I left a short time later.

I got home about 9:15. Dan and I visited a bit, I got my things ready for work on Tuesday, and I went to bed. I was pretty tired.

That was Monday. Thank you for reading. Hugs.

Thursday 10.16.2008 I'm Back....

Hello to all of you out there in computerland...

I worked on Monday, and one of the "Rules" that Dan and I have is that if I'm working, or we're away from each other for most of the day, he sends me a text message. (He has "texting" on his phone plan; I have only free incoming.) So, Monday's message I received was, ("...woke up to the internet being down. Found a dead modem. Called and needs to be replaced...")

Of course I phoned him when I was able to do so. This will be at least the third, if not the fourth, time this modem has been replaced. The last time was November 2007, so this is still within the 1 year warranty period and will be no charge other than shipping. I think he said $12.95 or something. If I remember right, last November's modem was within the warranty period, too.

So. The new modem was delivered today, and will be connected this evening. I am at the hospital for a meeting and brought the laptop so I could touch base here while waiting for the meeting time.

I am well, will try to catch you up with my activities...

Thank you for reading. Hugs.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Sunday 10.12.2008

Dan got up just before 7 while I closed my eyes and went back to sleep. The phone woke me at 0900. I had a brief conversation, and I closed my eyes for a "minute" before getting up. My Surprise--it was 1015!! I've got to get up.

I did--putzed around, showered, had breakfast. I put together a roast and put it in the oven on low/325.

The rest of the afternoon went by. I was just going out to the library when Dan came home. He went to shower, I went on out.

When I got back we ate.

I had just put the food away and finished cleaning the kitchen when Frank arrived. We offered him some supper--he was happy to have "mom-cooked" food. He helped me figure out my "device"--it's like an ipod but a different, off-brand thing that's a tad tricky to figure out. We had a nice visit.

He left about 10:45, I finished writing this, and I'm off to bed, as tomorrow is a workday.

My breast has been sore today; I finally took tylenol/motrin this afternoon. It took the edge off, but not gone completely. I'm not going to worry about it--I relate it to the woundbed and the radiation processes still happening.

Thank you for reading. Hugs.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Saturday 10.11.2008

What a beautiful day!

After a night of interrupted sleep, I finally slept solid between 4 and 8. Dan got up while I lingered in the bed, but the sunshine and birdsong lured me out. That, and I was hungry...

I got ready for the day, had breakfast, checked email. Dan's phone rang, and he was off to play golf. Ok, see you later...

I putzed around and soon it was time to go to Jackson (Michigan Center, really) for my hair appointment. I had a book with me, and I was early, so I was able to read some while waiting.

Lauretta put the client she was working on under the dryer, and it was my turn. She did a real nice job, saying my hair was shiny, felt good, felt thicker, and looked like I'd never been "sick". Wow, thank you. I paid her and we set the next appointment. Thanks, bye...

I stopped at the Meijer store there and picked up a few groceries, then came home.

Dan was home; he helped unpack the items and we ate. I showered, and the rest of the evening we were just here. It was pretty nice.

Still having hot flashes. My breast is sore, but I haven't had any tylenol/motrin today.

Tomorrow Dan golfs in the morning, I'm not sure what I'm going to do. Hope your day is great.

Thank you for reading. Hugs.

Friday, October 10, 2008

Friday 10.10.08

I got up to go to work this morning feeling like I should be still asleep. I looked in the mirror and smiled, and thanked God for waking me up and giving me this gift of life. I wonder how I'll be able to share my gifts today??

I had an uneventful drive in the dark, parked 2 blocks away, the shuttle came around, I clocked in, had a good day. I was happy to see the night shift; I ended up clocking out a half hour late, just because of the late afternoon surgeries.

An uneventful drive home. Dan was at a high school football game. I got myself "undone", settled in from my workday. I was just getting a bite to eat when he got home.

We visited and caught up, then I wrote here.

I started the Effexor 37.5 mg tablets today for 7 days. I'm still having some fierce hot flashes--I hope it works like it did when I had it the first time....
Tomorrow is haircut in the afternoon. So far, nothing else is scheduled or planned, other than enjoying the sunshine.
Thank you for reading. Hugs.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Thursday 10.9.2008

I slept pretty good overall for a few hours, woke up at 5, back to sleep. When I woke again the sun was up. I guessed it was 8:30 ish (because you know we didn't have power in the bedrooms). I have a small battery operated radio that I turned on--8:40. Dan jumped out of bed to get started resolving the electrical issue. I lingered several minutes before rising.

So of course, I'm trying to get myself ready for the 11 o'clock appointment with Ike, and Dan's wanting me to check this, look here, etc. I tell him Sorry, I've got to shower and get ready for my appointment. I get my breakfast, but I have to check the internet for him, too.

He has the tester out, the panel apart; we decide to call the electrical supply house to see if they have these breakers and how much they are. $43 or something, each.

I have to go, Daniel is still doing what he's doing. As I get in the parking lot my phone rings. He's figured it out, gotten the breakers reset, and all is well. Whew! Dan The Man!!

I wait about 10 minutes before Ike comes out to the waiting room to get me, and we go back to room 2. We chit chat a minute then she checks me over. I was able to leave the tapes on that she put over the incisions last week; she takes them off. It looks like the incision on the breast might look a little less "dimpled", and the one under the arm doesn't look any different to me. She sees the small pockets of fluid on the inside of my elbow, on my shoulder (where it's aching), and of course, the breast itself (which has been pretty sore the last couple of days). The woundbed is firm and sore, as is the axilla/armpit. She gets to work.

She massages me, or whatever that technique is called. 45 minutes later my arm feels better, the shoulder is sore, and the breast is sore, too. She does some kind of technique on the scars to release the adhesions in the tissues, and that kind of hurts. That's ok--the treatments will either work or they won't. Gotta try....

She put more tapes over the two scars, and we're done. Thank you, see you next week.

I stop at CVS on the way home to pick up our prescriptions and new 9 volt batteries for the smoke alarms. We figured that since they were all down (for the troubleshooting process) we'll change the batteries.

Back home, Dan changes the batteries, reinstalls the alarms, and the electrical crisis is over. Although we still don't know why or what tripped the circuit breakers in the first place. If it happens again we'll have to search further.

Dan went to the chiropractor, I started food prep. We ate shortly after he got back. I cleaned up the kitchen, and had to go outside for a walk. I went back in the undeveloped area and saw lots of prints of a pair of deer, probably a small fawn and doe. That little bit of peace and nature centers me, reminds me that I'm part of what has been created.

I come back inside, Dan has gone to the clubhouse to sit in the hot tub, and he comes back shortly, feeling better.

The rest of the evening goes by.

Tomorrow is a workday for me, Dan is going to golf. May you all enjoy the beautiful autumn day.

Thank you for reading. Hugs.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Wednesday 10.8.2008 Doctor Day

I slept good the first part of the night, the morning was the same hour-intervals of wake/hot/doze. Dan got up about 8 maybe; I got up about 9, had breakfast, showered.

I had a lot of email to read, so I got started on that while waiting to leave for the doctor appointment. Ok, time to go.

We got there, parked, and went into the building. Walking up the sidewalk, I recognized a little anxiety. I took a breath and imagined all of you readers and everyone else who prayed for me and with me to get me through this cancer treatment stuff. Into the building, a few more steps, and we're in the hallway standing in front of the door to Dr. Bolmer's office. I stopped and breathed again, remembering standing in the circle holding hands and the energies surrounding me. I smiled, and with confidence, opened the door and went in. Thanks for being there with me.

I went to the window and signed in, then went to sit beside Daniel. We small talked, chit-chatted, waited our turn. Maybe 1o minutes later one of the girls without a name badge called my name.

We rose and walked over to where she was standing, and stopped at the scale. #145.6 Cool. (Looking back in the notebook, the last visit was June 4, and #146) Stable. We went into exam room 9. We've been here before. I had to laugh at myself--I walked around the room looking at the walls to see if there was anything different. There was!! A yellow paper posted on the door of the cabinet over the sink saying It's flu season--we have vaccine--ask doctor to schedule your flu shot. I sat in the chair Ms. Nameless indicated. Blood pressure 103/61 pulse 73 temp 97.5. She opens the folder which is my chart, records these numbers, and goes down the list of medications. Yes, yes, no, .....she asks me if I had asked for a copy of my labs? No, I hadn't, but could I have a copy? Yes, she says, it's right here, and hands it to me. Cool. Thanks. She says doctor will be in soon, and leaves. I thank her again.

Dan and I look at each other, he starts fiddling with his phone again, and I scrutinize the lab results. Hemoglobin 13.4. (excellent) Hematocrit 37.9 (excellent) All other blood chemistries excellent. The hormone levels are something I'm not real familiar with: Estradiol <25, LH (leutenizing hormone) 40.9, FSH (follicle stimulating hormone) 53.5. I'm sure doctor will go over that with us. I wrote the weight and blood pressure in my notebook, got my list of topics ready, and reviewed my notebook in case she asked me something I wasn't quite sure of.

Dr. Bolmer came in about 5 minutes later, and first thing, she asked how were the hot flashes?

I told her they were still annoying, and she said that they are a result of the rapid decrease of estrogen due to the chemotherapy and tamoxifen. She said that unfortunately there's not much do to about them, drugs don't work well, and that they will eventually decrease in time. She went on to tell about her own hot flashes and how they interrupt her day. I asked if I could try the 37.5 mg of Effexor again--she wrote a prescription for that for 7 days, and another prescription for 30 days and refills, if it works. Doctor looked at the labs, commenting that my body tolerated the chemo well, that the hormone levels reflect that the chemotherapy and tamoxifen are doing what they are supposed to be doing. We talked about vitamins and supplements--continue taking the Vitamins E and B6 and calcium, as well as "whatever else you're using. You look really well." Thanks.

I told her about the cognition and spatial concerns--I lose words, get off task, forget to do things, reading speed has decreased and have to concentrate on comprehending; and my depth perception seems to have changed, as well as not being able to turn my head fast and have my eyes keep up. She said that the sudden decrease of estrogen levels will make those types of changes more noticeable than when "natural menopause" occurs. That when the estrogen levels decrease gradually, the adaptive or compensatory behaviors are something we don't notice as much. Then she started talking about making lists, using reminders, repetition, and that the cognitive changes happen anyway as we age and the estrogen levels decrease. She said that chemotherapy and taxotere may also cause cataracts to grow more quickly--when do you have an eye appointment?? Soon, I replied.

She asked about vaginal dryness, as chemotherapy and taxotere can affect that, too. Then she said she was having a hot flash, she was going to go out in the hall, and I can change into a gown while she's gone. Ok.

I put the gown on, she comes back in a few minutes later. She listened to my lungs and my heart, did kind of a breast exam on the right/non-affected breast, and checked the left one, commenting on the fluid, looking at my arms and hands, asking about Ike and what she does for me. She declares me "good".

I am to see her again in 3 months, have the mammogram in November, as well as the general physical and pap smear, and have an eye exam. As she was writing all this in the chart, I put my clothes back on. I have the new prescriptions, and any others that need refilled can be done by calling the "refill line" there at the office. Ok, thank you. I shake her hand and she leaves.

I was surprised that Dan didn't say much during this visit, just was there. I guess we covered what he wanted to know...

We got outside, I breathed again, and thanked God for His gifts. The sun was trying to break through the clouds.

At home, I had something to eat and looked at emails again. After a bit my eyes got droopy, so we declared it was naptime.

We had a nice rest, got up, decided it was time for supper. I threw out a couple of ideas, he suggested Bob Evans. Ok...

So out we went. Yum. We stopped at Meijer for a couple things we missed the other day, and came back home. While we were settling in, we heard a high pitched alarm-sounding noise--what was that??

We looked around the house and found that the security alarm was showing that it went to battery. Huh? Looking more, none of the bedrooms have power. But the bathroom light switches do. And the rest of the house works, too. He checked the GFI in the bathroom, that was good, then went to the fuse box. There are two switches that are tripped and don't reset. Great. The electrical company has their sticker conveniently affixed to the fuse panel door. That's a phone call for the morning....

And it's bedtime. Tomorrow I see Ike at 11:00, then I may have to work in the afternoon, as I signed up extra on-call. We'll see.

Again, I thank you all for reading, for travelling with me through the breast cancer planet and back to wellness on planet earth. We did it.


Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Tuesday 10.7.2008

A brief night with minimal sleep; I got up and ready for work. An uneventful drive in the dark, thank you God, and I was just walking the 2 blocks over to the hospital when the shuttle came around.

The day started really nice--just one other nurse and me with just enough patients. We got a patient back from surgery, got her recovered, had lunch, then Bam! the fan turned on.

Kris W and I work very well together, and we did a good job juggling the few odd challenges that were presented us. We took good care of our patients, and by the time the night shift came in, we were ready to hand it over. I didn't clock out until after 7:30, though. I was glad to leave.

I walked across the road and the 2 blocks back to the car. The mild autumn air smells really good. I drove home with my feet "tingling", my back sore. Yup. That's why it's called work.

Dan was home when I got there. I put my things away, showered, and wrote here.

Tomorrow is our appointment with Dr. Bolmer, and I have my list. It's short, but I have to write it down to make sure we cover it. I'm anxious to see my lab work and my weight.

I'm off to bed.

Thank you for reading. Hugs.

Monday, October 6, 2008

Monday 10.6.2008

I didn't sleep much between midnight and 4:30--at o425 the phone rang. It was my turn to stay home. Oh, ok. I got up, took a tylenol and motrin, and went back to bed. Dan hadn't slept real well either, and we settled in for "the rest of the story". I put the earphone in and listened to the radio for a while, finally turning it off and went to sleep about 6:45. Sheesh.

Dan was snoring as I looked at the clock: 0945. Funny how when one wakes up the other one does. He woke up about fifteen minutes later.

We got up and started the day. Liz from Dr. Bolmer's office called to remind me of my appointment on Wednesday, and asked if I had gotten my blood drawn. I told her I had, when and where, and she said she would look it up on the computer. Ok, thanks.

He had a noon meeting lined up, and while he was gone I enjoyed a shower. When he came back, the mail had arrived, and a different phone for him was in it. He spent the rest of the afternoon fooling around with that. We decided to go out for dinner, then to Meijer for a few groceries.

Back home, I put some cookies in the oven for a potluck luncheon for the volunteers that knit baby hats and such for our babies. As I was putting a baking sheet in the oven, somehow it kind of slipped out of my hand and landed on the oven door. That part was ok, but some of the cinnamon and sugar had gotten on the door and into the bottom hinged area. Some of the stuff continued on through to the drawer below. I rearranged the cookies on the pan, put those in the oven, got a dry cloth and wiped off the door before the sugar burnt on, and while they were baking, I took the drawer out and cleaned it and the assorted variety of baking pans of the sugar and cinnamon (and dusty bits) that were there. I'll have to check on the rest of the stuff in the hinge after it cools off.

The rest of the evening I caught up on the internet.

As I was drying from my shower earlier today, the skin sloughed off from the areola and nipple again. The newly exposed layer was tender; I put some silvadene ointment on it. My shoulder has been achy tonight, too.

I'm off to bed--tomorrow is a workday.

Thank you for reading. Hugs.

Sunday, October 5, 2008

Sunday 10.5.2008

I slept fair, I guess; I seem to be more restful after 2 or 3 o'clock. Dan's alarm came on 0650--he got up to turn it off, then climbed back into bed. Hey, what are you doing?? (Don't be setting an alarm in the morning, disturbing me when I'm finally sleeping, unnecessarily!!) "It's a little cool out there--I'm warming up," he says, as he snuggles under the covers. Oh.

And I wonder if he's been too cool through the night, because I've had the window open. And sometimes I'm still too warm. The lure of golf pulls him out of bed...

He gets ready and leaves, meeting up with others at 0800. I've drifted off to sleep and don't hear him go.

I wake about 9. The sun is shining. Thank you God for the beautiful day.

I get myself ready for the day, start a load of laundry, have breakfast, pick up here and there. Before I know it, our daughter Kim calls and says she's on the way over. Ok, see you soon. About 15 minutes later the door opens. Bre and Nick come in! What a nice surprise!

They had borrowed a truck to pick up a couple of items one of our neighbors had for sale, but she's not home. They stay and visit, and Kim shows up shortly to pick up her laptop that Daniel has repaired. We have a nice visit, and I excuse myself to go down to the car, where her daughter Kayla is with Ja'lynn, who was sleeping when they arrived. She was now waking up. I hugged Kayla and chatted some, we got Ja'lynn out of her carseat, and she wanted me! Ok--she just turned 2 and is very sweet. We sat outside, and I offered Kayla to go in and visit with Bre and Nick if she wanted to. Ja'lynn and I played in the rocks, watched ants, basically just enjoyed being outside. Laughter floated down the stairs and outside to us--she listened, and said "nama?" which is what she calls Kim. When I asked her if she wanted to find Nama, she got up and went inside, scurrying up the stairs as fast as as she could. She reminded me of a crab, as quickly and methodically as she was moving herself.

Kim, Kayla, and Ja'lynn left after a bit. Bre and Nick stayed for as long as they could, but Mrs. Neighbor didn't return home before they had to leave. We had a nice visit anyway. It was good to see everyone.

Daniel called shortly after, saying he was on his way home. He arrived about 4:30. I had dinner started, and we had a little bit before it would be done. We visited, he rested, caught up on the computer, and we ate.

The rest of the evening was uneventful; Dan drifted off to bed about 9, and I wrote here.

Tomorrow is a workday.

My breast is sore today. I took the tylenol and motrin, and it helped, and I could also tell when it wore off. I've had "temperature fluctuations" too.

That's it...Thank you for reading. Hugs.

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Saturday 10.4.2008

I went to bed last night, thought I was going to drift right off to sleep. This way, that way, turn the pillow over. Stretch out, curl up, oh heck, just get up and take a couple motrin and a tylenol. I was getting a hot flash, too, so I got the pills and came out to the kitchen for water, stayed up until I cooled off, maybe 10 minutes or so, then went back to bed. Deep breaths, relax, ahhh....

(Yes, I know the meds didn't work that fast.) I did drift off to sleep, and slept fairly well, all temperature fluctuations considered. Eventually it was a little after eight and time to get up.

I enjoyed a leisurely morning with breakfast, then I sat on the sofa in the warm sunshine and read a little. I got ready to work the second half of the day; someone needed it off, and I could do it, so I did.

An uneventful drive (thank you God) in the bright fall sunshine (thank you again). I parked a couple blocks away, but the security vehicle was there (thank you again) and I rode over to the building.

I turned the corner to my unit, and I happened to come in at a "quiet" moment--several of the girls were there; a couple were charting, a couple were chatting. I smiled. "Hello, my friends."
I clocked in and went to the locker room to change my shoes.

We had a very nice afternoon with a few new patients coming out to their rooms in the last couple of hours. And then it was time to leave. Yippee!! Half days are the best!!

Another uneventful drive home (thank you again) in the near-dark. The crescent moon and the evening star shining bright.

Dan was still working on daughter Kim's laptop computer, finally ridding it of the viruses and re-installing drivers and blah blah....

I fixed a bite to eat, checked the computer, and wrote here. Tomorrow Dan golfs, I need to catch up on chores.

Thank you for reading. Hugs.

Friday, October 3, 2008

Friday 10.3.08

I''m happy to say that even though I didn't sleep well last night, I'm feeling much better today.

I got up and showered, breakfasted, and went over to Leah's for my massage. Mmmmm. She did what she does, and worked on moving the fluid in my left arm and shoulder, a little into the armpit, and across my back. She's getting more comfortable with the lymph fluid thing, and does a good job. She stayed away from the actual breast, though. I'm just happy she does what she does.

I went home and showered again (to get some of the oils off), had a snack, and it was time to go to therapy with Ike.

She checked my arm, was ok with what Leah did, and Ike started working on the scar tissue/adhesions. As she did, she told me about a taping method that may help the "dimpling" or indentation of the wounds. When she was done, she taped me up. I had to laugh--it looks pretty funny, but hey, if it works, great, and if it doesn't, no harm. Of course I had to take a picture!! (click here) I covered what I could so it's a bit more modest. I was surprised that the breast tissue itself was as tender as it was--or maybe she was being a bit more aggressive. We checked the appointment schedule, I have two more; one next week and one the week after. I don't know what will happen from there.

On the way home I stopped at a satellite lab and got my blood drawn for my visit with Dr. Bolmer next week. I was happy that the phlebotomist got in first poke, took 3 tubes of blood and was done. I had to sit there several minutes to get the swoozies out of my head before I could stand up. (that's not unusual for me--I have to "recover" like that even with the annual TB test.) I'm eager to see the results.

Back at home, Dan's daughter Kim was there with her laptop. She's having problems, and Dan's trying to clear the viruses from it. She stayed a couple of hours and had to leave before he was done. We had a nice visit. (Dan's worked on that computer all evening. He's made some progress, but it's not done yet)

I had something to eat. I'm so hungry, and so thirsty, but I don't dare eat much. I think I've had four 20 ounce waters today, so I think I'm tolerating that ok. That's about half of what I usually drink. I know, it seems like a lot, but the output doesn't reflect it.

Tomorrow I'm working for someone from 11:30 to 7. That helps make up a few of the hours I lost earlier this week.

I hope all is well with all of you. Thank you for reading. Hugs.

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Thursday 10.2.2008

0830 Awake. Hm. To the bathroom, just a little "stuff". Much better. And I'm hungry. My head and vision are no longer confused. I decided to take a shower.

I enjoyed that, dressed, and fixed breakfast. I ate slowly, but I feel soooo hungry and thirsty. I sipped on water. An hour or so later I'm a bit queasy, and may need to take a nap.

I managed to stay awake all afternoon and drank 20 ounces of water. And no stools.

I got hungry again, and I have to say that I was kind of afraid, but hunger won. I decided on peanut butter and jelly sandwich and milk.

Yum, that was good. My tummy's still ok. And while I was in the refrigerator, I saw the container of raspberries.....

I had gotten them the other day, and I like them just cool, not chilled cold. I ate them right out of the container after putting the groceries away. Nope, didn't wash them. I mentioned it to Dan, and we both think that the berries were the culprit; he didn't have any. The only thing that doesn't fit is that I didn't have any discomfort whatsoever. So I'm atypical...

Dan chose to get chinese--I had a little of the egg drop soup and a little of the white rice. (it wasn't all that good) I'm still doing pretty good this evening, but it's 8:30 and I'm ready for bed.

Thank you for the kind words. It helps knowing you're out there.

Tomorrow I have a massage and physical therapy appointment. I was also supposed to have my blood drawn Wednesday for the first follow-up with Dr. Bolmer, medication oncologist, so I'll do that tomorrow while I'm out.

Thank you for reading. Hugs.

Wednesday 10.1.08

this post is written Thursday, NOT in the bathroom....

Wednesday, another day in bed.

I got up about noon, still roiling and, ahem, spewing. I had to shower. My vision was like a bowl of jello--when I turned my eyes everything jilted. Very odd. I'm moving slow.

Daniel was convinced it was time for medication. Ok, let me research the OTC antidiarrheals. Imodium and Pepto. I chose the pepto--the Imodium looks like big drugs, and I'm tired of those.

Dan went to the local CVS and came home with both. (what a guy) I did my best to swallow that stuff. Ewww... Within a few minutes I could feel it coating my stomach, and I will say, it felt better. I went to sleep.

An hour or so later I'm up again, to the bathroom, and the directions say every 1/2 to 1 hour. Ok, down the hatch. Dose #2. Back to sleep.

Gradually the stuff moved through the intestines, and as it did, no new "stuff" was being produced. I didn't take the Effexor and Tamoxifen yesterday, so I took it this afternoon. I also ate a small serving of chicken noodle soup. It tasted good... The times between bathroom trips stretched out, I slept, and the next thing I know it's dark, Dan's in bed. Hm. I wonder if I'll be able to go to work??

About 0200, I was up again with an event. My head was still unstable (is it ever stable?), so I called the J.O.B. place to be absent. No problem, get well. Back to bed with me.

And was I glad I did. Shortly after 5 am, up again, with more "stuff". I considered taking more pepto, but I could feel it moving through my intestines, and I'm almost done.

Back to bed. Hugs.