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Day 16, Treatment #3
The day dawned dreary gray, and breezy. Kathy Sue and I were up and showered, but not really "ready to go" when brother Jim called, and asked could I come to Jackson this morning for a legal signature... Ok, sure. We're not quite ready to go, but we'll get there.
So we drive to Jackson, I sign where indicated, and we head back to Holt. We proceeded to do some of nothing, just chit chat, some reminiscing, mainly the quiet support of each other. Email, phone calls, etc.
After a while, it was time to eat again. I had prepared food a couple of days ago, and I reheated that for us. We ate while we watched the movie "No Hair Day"--a documentary about 3 women who met during treatment for their breast cancers. Being able to see them as they interact with each other and their reflections on their lives was very insightful and reassuring to me/us. I had watched it with Dan shortly after my first treatment; he found it to be a good movie, too.
We left to go to Flushing, to select the casket flowers/blanket. We met brother Tom, Kathy's husband, there, and ordered our selection, the options being agreed upon easily. It will be a spray of pinks (I forgot what all the flowers are) with 5 white roses, one for each of her children. The nice lady Rachel also sent Kathy Sue and I home with a dozen daffodils each. I appreciated that--I love daffodils.
We then went around the block to Aunt Lois' house, where we all visited again for about an hour. Tom and KS left shortly after 6; I chose to stay and visit with A. Lois and Diane.
KS and I located a photo album that Mom had assembled of Lois' family--I took that for her, and we three had a great trip down memory lane. Unrushed, we laughed and listened to each other's stories. It was a good day.
I left there and got home around 9 pm. Had a bite to eat, checked email, and wrote here.
Thanks to all for your comments, private emails, phone calls, and hugs. I know these next several days are going to be pivotal, and your support enables me to take the next step, hold my head up, and go forward. Hugs.
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The young mother set her foot on the path of life. "Is this the long way?" she asked. And the guide said: "Yes, and the way is hard. And you will be old before you reach the end of it...
ReplyDeleteBut the end will be better than the beginning."
But the young mother was happy, and she would not believe that anything could be better than these years. So she played with her children, and gathered flowers for them along the way, and bathed them in the clear streams and the sun shone on them, and the young Mother cried,
"Nothing will ever be lovelier than this."
Then the night came, and the storm, and the path was dark, and the children shook with fear and cold, and the mother drew them close and covered them with her mantle, and the children said, "Mother, we are not afraid, for you are near, and no harm can come." And the morning came, and there was a hill ahead, and the children climbed and grew weary, and the mother was weary. But at all times she said to the children," A little patience and we are there." So the children climbed, and when they reached the top they said, "Mother, we would not have done it without you."
And the mother, when she lay down at night looked up at the stars and said, "This is a better day than the last, for my children have learned fortitude in the face of hardness. Yesterday I gave them courage. Today, I've given them strength."
And the next day came strange clouds which darkened the earth: clouds of war and hate and evil, and the children groped and stumbled and the mother said: "Look up. Lift your eyes to the light."
And the children looked and saw above the clouds an everlasting glory, and it guided them beyond the darkness.
And that night the Mother said "This is the best day of all, for I have shown my children God."
And the days went on, and the weeks and the months and the years, and the mother grew old and she was little and bent. But her children were tall and strong, and walked with courage.
And when the way was rough, they lifted her, for she was as light as a feather; and at last they came to a hill, and beyond they could see a shining road and golden gates flung wide.
And mother said, "I have reached the end of my journey. And now I know the end is better than the beginning, for my children can walk alone, and their children after them."
And the children said, "You will always walk with us, Mother, even when you have gone through the gates." And they stood and watched her as she went on alone, and the gates closed after her. And they said: "We cannot see her but she is with us still.
A Mother is more than a memory. She is a living presence..." Your Mother is always with you... She's the whisper of the leaves as you walk down the street, she's the smell of bleach in your freshly laundered socks; she's the cool hand on your brow when you're not well. Your Mother lives inside your laughter. And she's crystallized in every tear drop. She's the place you came from, your first home; and she's the map you follow with every step you take. She's your first love and your first heartbreak, and nothing on earth can separate you. Not time, not space... not even death.
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Kathy, Deepest condolences on the loss of your mother.
I am in awe when I think of the formidable task Elaine conquered gracefully and effortlessly, that of raising a family of five on her own back in the day when most families had the monetary and emotional support of two parents. All five of you turned out to be pretty incredible people, and I think that directly reflects on Elaine. She did a great job with the little she had, and had a wonderful family to show for it. Despite the fact Elaine is not here in body, she certainly is in spirit and lives in and through you all.
Blessings to you all.
Karla (Kohlmann) Smith
Kathy,
ReplyDeleteI just finished reading this week's blogs, and I am so grateful to have been able to share in your description of my sister's last two days, and also your own Journey. This was the best cry I've had so far when I read here. I believe I needed that. I'm sure there'll be more tears on Sunday and Monday, but that's OK. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for all the love and care you gave your mother. God really gave you superlative strength to be able to do that for all of this time. I've been missing my "big" sister ever since she had to leave her home here in Flint. We used to have such wonderful times together--shared pizza and Coke, or she would call me at work and invite me to stop to have supper with her ("I baked a pineapple pie this afternoon, and made a pot of goulash..."), or whatever. And she was always so willing to help me with any projects, whether it was painting my house (two different ones), or helping me get settled, or rake leaves and/or clean down at Mom's and Dad's house on Stone Street--whatever needed doing. She was a very hard worker, and seemed to love doing it. I feel she more than earned her way into Heaven--she certainly suffered alot here on earth, especially with her Migraines. I now have a new saint to pray to, as she enjoys her Heavenly reward.
My love, prayers and hugs to you.
Aunt (LoLo) Lois
My dear cousin Kathy,
ReplyDeleteI was so glad that I could be there Wed. and Thurs. with you, Tom, Kathy Sue, Jim and Polly. Thank you so much for bringing that wonderful photo album to my Mom's house. That was awesome. You and your Mother and your brothers too always have been such a big part of my life, especially my childhood. My "Anny-Laine" meant the world to me and I loved her dearly. Next to my Mom, she was my biggest supporter. I will miss her terribly but am grateful that she is at peace now with our Lord.
To all of Kathy's friends who have written here. I just want to thank you all for all your kind words and support. You are all so terrific! I so enjoyed the writing from "Sterling". It is so wonderful to see that my cousin has sooo many people that care about her and that are supporting her through her ordeal with cancer and through the loss of her beautiful Mother. Thank you all so very much from the bottom of my heart. May God bless each and every one of you.
Diane
Dear Kathy,
ReplyDeleteI found out today at work that you lost your dear mother on Wednesday and even though it has been long coming and you were kind of expecting it, it doesn't make it any easier. I know how you feel. I loved my dear mother with all my heart and of course I wouldn't want to drag her back here from Heaven, but I would just like to spend one more day with her. You will miss her immensely. Your devotion to her has been an integral part of your life and a hole will be left which will be hard to fill. I am thinking of you and praying for you. Teresa.
we should ALL be so fortunate & blessed to have our loved one be there in our final years to tuck us in, kiss us on the forehead and wish us sweet dreams every night....ahhhhhh how wonderful that you had all those good night wishes between the two of you.
ReplyDeleteNamaste' Aunt Kathy ~ Namaste'...