Wednesday 2.13.2008 Sunshine

Day 8, Treatment #2

Wow, I feel a whole lot better today. Thank you, Lord. The sun is out, the sky is blue, and I'm almost afraid of how good I feel.

I had intended to go outdoors and exercise today, but a lifelong family friend has passed away, and propriety states, for me, "must go to funeral home if possible". Visitation 2-4 this afternoon in Durand worked for me, as the funeral is planned for Thursday, a work day for me.

I rummage around in the closet and find suitable attire. Ok, that looks ok. Now, my head. Well, I have this scarf, or this other scarf that would look ok, or I could wear one of the wigs, or..... not. Hm. I look in the mirror again. I really don't like headwear these last couple of days. My scalp seems so itchy and waxy feeling, and sometimes I get pretty warm. I wouldn't say hot, exactly, but pretty warm. So. How big are my gonads? Can I mingle with mostly strangers with not much hair on my head? I decide to not wear headwear, but take a bandana with me in case I'm not comfortable.

At the funeral home, I'm like the 2nd person to arrive, right after one of the sons, a "boy" that I only saw occasionally during the summer, but heard about all the time from his parents and grandfather. I looked at him. He looked at me. He looked at my head. He looked at my face again. "Steve?" I asked. No, Chris, he replied. (Damn, I knew that--the two brothers look different enough.) I introduced myself. Oh, Yes, Kathy. Good to see you (he looks at my head) Thanks for coming. Appropriate comments about his newly deceased father exchanged, and he changes the subject to the lake. Ok, I thought, informal. As he small talks, he looks at my head occasionally. Ok, I think, I'm saying it. "I see you looking at my head. I'm having chemotherapy for breast cancer and I've lost a lot of my hair. This is the first time out in public without any headcovering." I couldn't read his face. He was surprised, of course, but I think more about me having the disease than not having much hair. Oh, he said, wow. You look great! And really, your hair's ok. Not much of it, but it's ok. Thanks, I said, and exhaled. We continued our conversation, and he didn't look at my head again, that I noticed. Hm.

Other people filtered in, my brother and sister-in-law Tom and Kathy Sue, and other than the "boy her hair's really thin" look, it wasn't so bad. My head was a lot more comfortable. I guess we could call it a personal growth day, huh.

I visited with Tom and KS, then it was time for me to leave. They did, too. We walked out together, hugged our goodbyes, and went our ways. I got home with time to change clothes, eat, and get down to Jackson.

I got mom fed and tucked in, and came home.

I want to tell you two things, each very different topics.

1.) The deceased is Lloyd Waldron, whose father was also named Lloyd. My parents bought a cottage on Long Lake two doors down from Lloyd, in 1957. My Mom and her children (us kids) summered there, Dad would come up on weekends. Lloyd spent a lot of his summer there, too. So, literally, I've known that family since I was 2 years old. We've shared a lot of campfires through the years. I felt it was only right for me to pay my respects.

2.) This morning the UPS guy brought me a beautiful bouquet of 2 dozen roses, shades of pink, peach, and orange tipped yellow. Beeeeuuuuuutifulllll. Of course they are from my most wonderful Husband. Maybe I'll be clever enough to get a pic to post....

That's all for today. Thursday and Friday are work days. I'm ready. (I think...)

Thanks for reading, for surrounding me with your positive energies, prayers, happy thoughts, and so very many different colors and textures!!! It's working!!!!